The three most dreaded days of my life are just a week away, and I don't think I've been this scared before. I've had so many nightmares lately, and yet I can't seem to do anything but find ways to digress...
I know I shouldn't be so half-assed -- either have a blog, or don't -- but I often filter out what I really want to say. I guess I'm somewhat ashamed of my feelings; that and I can't make up my mind whether or not I want certain people to find out certain things...
第一次是偶然. 第二次是必然. 第三次是命中注定...
This may sound silly, K, but I wish you held me in the same regard as I hold you. I wish you knew how unhappy I am with the current situation -- the last post was written with you in mind -- but I also don't want to add to your burden...
As I help my brother plan out his college years, I'm really happy and proud of him. I also wish I was in his shoes...
Almost a year and a half ago, I cut off contact with my best
friend because of how miserable she made me feel. We haven't spoken
since, and I'm still not sure how I feel about that. I thought, or at
least hoped, that time would heal all wounds, but evidently it doesn't
always work that way. That void hasn't been filled since...
The past five years have been such a waste of my life. Even three
years ago, I seemed relatively sure of myself. Not so anymore; I feel
like one big, dysfunctional disappointment after another...
Speaking of disappointment, I'm not sure how I will ever make my parents truly happy, considering all they want for me is to become Christian. 14 years ago, I had no idea I would still be agnostic today...
I wonder if my friends know it makes me happy when they read my blog, especially when they don't tell me afterward that I think too much...
If I could have one wish come true and couldn't just wish for happiness, I'd wish for someone to tell me that everything will be alright, and for me to be certain of it...
.taintedwine
Comments (3)
ryc: Thanks for dropping by and commenting on my entries. I always welcome it. :)
And regarding your entry, I hope you can work out whatever thoughts you have in your mind. I've been through a similar situation before.
Every thing will be alright. One thing at a time... The worst is that you fail the exam and you can take again right?
As for relationship or job: whatever I didn't get gives me a chance to look for something better...
I live in a area that is always cold and foggy when the sun is not out. I would remind myself that I am going to work hard in this overcast weather, because I know that the sun will be out one day. And when it's out, I just relax and enjoy the sun...in my beautiful home, watching bikers passing by.
I am agnostic too. I like science.